I'm not even sure how to start this. I've toiled over whether or not to type it in the first place and now that I'm looking at the screen with it's cursor blinking expectantly, I'm wondering if there's any point since my words are unlikely to accurately convey what I'm thinking/feeling. But here goes...
I am so in love with this little boy. He has become my favorite EVERYTHING. I can't believe I never wanted to do this. His faces, noises, his little farts(!!)...everything he does is amazing to me and I love him more and more every second. He is so beautiful. I still can't believe I made him. When I found out I was pregnant, I had this grand idea that I would do everything right and be the perfect parent. Then, within the first 7 days of being a Mama, reality slapped me in the face and proved that no matter what, nothing is perfect. I was very hard on myself about Emmett having to endure a hospital stay for Jaundice, especially since I made it a point to carry out my pregnancy and childbirth in such a way as to avoid that unpleasantness. I felt very guilty and embarrassed and decided that I had already failed my little guy. It was an extremely difficult week for me.
Then I heard from you...my incredible midwife... and even if you too were thinking I was a failure, you never let on. Instead, you gave me accolades for sticking to my guns and taking charge of the things that I was able to control while facing so much opposition from the "medical professionals". I can't even express to you how much that meant to me or how it affected my morale. You made me realize how significant those small victories really were. I understand that in your line of work there is an expectation to maintain a certain level of positivity and sensitivity, but in your case, I feel it goes beyond obligation and comes directly from your spirit. They say that everyone has a calling, and I am so glad you answered your's. I can't imagine having done this any other way, and YOU, my dear, are a HUGE part of what made it so special.
I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Elder Scrolls games, (and I'm not even sure why my silly brain made this comparison) but you are legendary to the Kellers like the Dragonborn is legendary to the people of Skyrim. Bards should sing in your honor and spread tales of your heroism across the land! Yeah...so...that just happened...ahem. Anyway...all nerdiness aside...YOU. ARE. LOVELY.
I'm very grateful that I encountered you in this life and I consider it an honor that I will one day tell Emmett his birth story and that story will include you!
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